=== Total Drama Jumbo Jet, First Class === (Beth is taking a nap. She is asleep on a chair. Scott walks by and is eating cookies. He looks down at Beth and rolls his eyes. He shakes her awake)
Beth: WAH!? (looks up at Scott) Oh, Scott… hi.. (sighs) Thanks for inviting me up to first class. It was really nice of you. (she sits up straight)
Scott: Actually, no. I'm NOT that nice.
Beth: You may not be THAT nice. But you're still "nice".
Scott: I'm not ANY nice! I'm being purely strategic. (sits down and starts eating the cookies)
Beth: If you're being strategic, why haven't you asked me to be in any alliance yet? Why haven't you tried turning me against Courtney? If I knew any better… I think you brought me up here because you feel bad for me and want me to be happy! (she smiles)
---> Beth: That or he thinks I'm hot. …. Nope.
Scott: … … … Next time I bring someone up here, I'll pick someone who ISN'T an optimist. (eats a cookie) … And… why AREN'T you breaking from Courtney? I mean, everyone left me because I couldn't keep everyone safe… WELL, a very loyal member to Courtney's posse was just booted last episode, weren't they?
Beth: Yeah… but there was nothing Courtney, Lightning or I…. .. well, just Courtney and Lightning. There was nothing they could do. Nathaniel made a sacrifice and …..
Scott: (pats her on the back) I made a gamble too, back in China. It didn't end so well.
Beth: … What was the gamble?
Scott: None of you listened! I brought Noah to first class because I was afraid people were catching on to our alliance. I didn't want to give it away! But, I was wrong. They weren't catching on. … They already caught on by that point and knew exactly who was in the alliance. I bet it was Izzy who ratted on us. (breaks a cookie)
Beth: … That's not the way we interpreted it at all. (puts a hand on Scott's shoulder) You ARE a nice guy.
Scott: (humorously yells. His voice squeaks) I am NOOooT! I am a cold-blooded strategist!
Beth: Rrrriiiiiiight. And I'm a flying porpoise made of waffles. (a waiter brings Beth a waffle shaped like a porpoise) … Wow. First class rocks.
Scott: But it's not a FLYING porpoise. (blinks) We're in a plane…. (long pause) …
Beth: First class is the shiz. (starts eating)
=== Total Drama Jumbo Jet, Dining Area === (Lightning is sitting in the ginning area. He's eating a bowl of gruel. Courtney enters the area. Lightning pushes his bowl away and frowns)
Courtney: Ah! Lightning! There you are! Are you all revved up to finally eliminate Mel!? (Courtney exclaims ardently)
Lightning: (stands up) Sha-YEAH I AM! (Courtney gleefully smiles) … And THEN we're gonna eliminate YOU! (Courtney gasps) YOU let Nathaniel just… just… GET eliminated!
Courtney: Lightning! There was nothing I could do! It was all on his own watch!
Lightning: He didn't even wear a watch! Some leader YOU turned out to be! (walks past her)
Courtney: (follows. Lightning stops) Oh come on! You don't expect me to get an alliance of four ALL intact to the final four, did you?! It was a sudden death elimination! Nobody can predict a sudden death!
Lightning: You SAW Mel attack Nat, did you? (Courtney frowns) SHA-HA! I knew it! So you COULD have done something!
Courtney: To be fair, so could you.
Lightning: I'm taking BETH to the finale! And YOU won't stop me, neither Mel OR Scott! Sha-LATER! (Lightning leaves. Courtney sulks)
---> Lightning: Scott failed us, and so did Courtney! Not cool! NOT NOT SHA-COOL!
---> Courtney: UGH! Lightning and his … jumping to conclusions and his bull headed attitude! It's gonna RUIN ME! If he gets Beth on his side, I'll be down an alliance in a time where I need it most! The FINAL FIVE!
---> Mel: Man… I listened to the whole thing! Nothing makes me happier than seeing Courtney all stressed out! … There's NO way Lightning will join me, regardless of how stupid he is. I have about as much of a chance allying with Beth as a snowball's chance in hell. That leaves… Scott. I made some progress last challenge, but I think all he needs is to tap into his inner troublemaker and a good ol roundhouse to the moral compass.
=== Drumheller, Alberta, Canada === (Dakota is standing outside of the plane with the final five. Lightning is stand protective of Beth. Scott and Mel stand near each other. Scott scoots away. Mel scoots closer. Courtney stands alone. She grumbles to herself as Dakota begins her annoying introduction)
Dakota: WELCOME to Drumheller, Alberta! These badlands are RICH with dinosaur fossils, with ancient stones to affirm it. This is a world heritage sight! Much like the last one in Easter Island!
Scott: Tell us you didn't make stone replicas of the eliminated again.
Dakota: Nope. That was JUST Easter Island! And if you observe just behind you, you'll notice a giant pit filled with dinosaur bones! (They all turn around. There's no pit)
Courtney: There's no pit here.
Dakota: Yes there is.
Lightning: (mumbles) Quit yo lyin, Courtney.
Dakota: Just BENEATH the ground behind you is a large pit FILLED with dinosaur bones! Grab whatever bones you can find to make your own fakeosaurus! I call this challenge… "Designosaurus" (everyone groans) Haha! I like hosting. So you have TWO minutes to rifle through the planes cargo hold for some extra supplies. GO! (they all run into the cargo hold)
=== Total Drama Jumbo Jet, Cargo Hold === (Courtney runs into the cargo hold and starts looking around. She spots Beth, gathering a bunch of supplies)
Beth: Sticky tape. Glitter glue. Ooh! Sparkles!
Courtney: (fakes smiles) Heeeeeey Beth. Whatcha working on?
Beth: Gathering supplies. Right? Shouldn't you be searching too?
Lightning: (Lightning peers from behind Beth's box) She's searching all right.. for more FOOLS to fleece! She'll let you get eliminated just like Nathaniel!
Beth: But… Lightning. That was an accident. Nathaniel made a bold move and didn't make it. It wasn't anyone's fault… but Mel's. (Beth squeezes a bottle of glue) Always blame that tattooed diva-devil. (the lid pops off from her grip)
Courtney: See! Beth believes in me, now why don't you!? (Lightning scoffs and leaves the cargo hold.
Beth: He'll get over it. (Beth walks away) He just has trust issues. That's all. (Courtney sighs and follows)
=== Drumheller, Alberta, Fossil Pit === (The final five are digging out in the ground, picking up fossils. Mel is walking around, looking for lumps in the ground. She trips over a large, gaping, hole in the ground. She grabs the other side of the hole before she falls in. She pulls herself up)
Mel: What the heck!? Who dug THIS?! (she peers deep down into the hole and see Scott) Scott!? What are you, part mole!?
Scott: (yells up) I grew up on a dirt farm!
Mel: I grew up in an apartment, but you don't see me tunneling through those!…. (she thinks) At least in a literal sense I don't.... Or, well, KINDA, but-
Scott: (jumps out of the pit with a armful of fossils) -Go build a Boo Hoo-asaurus and let it cry me a river. Socialize all you won't, but we are NOT allying.
Mel: You're obviously not "good" enough for the others. I'm probably all you have left, ya dingbat!
Scott: I'll take my chances.
Mel: Taking chances is all you've been doing this ENTIRE season!
Scott: And look how far I got! (Scott blows a raspberry and waddles away with all his fossils. Mel groans)
Courtney: (suddenly, Courtney is standing behind Mel) Running dry on allies? (Mel cringes) Don't fret for much longer. After tonight's elimination, you'll be Total Drama extinct.
Mel: (smiles) I wouldn't be so sure. I heard on the grape vine, and by that I mean heard in person, that you're having trouble with your OWN alliance. Can't get a handle on your horses either, huh?
Courtney: That… may be so. But at least we're still in agreement to vote you off before we make any brash decisions. (walks away)
Mel: (grumbles) Yo mama.
Courtney: (snaps around) Real MATURE! What did you say!?
Mel: I said yo boyfriend is So UGLY, it can't find a second eyebrow to date him! (referring to his unibrow)
Courtney: Are we doing this?!… and Duncan has a unibrow too!!! Yo boyfriend is so UGLY, his parents garbed him in spikes to keep him from POPULATING!
Mel: Well YO boyfriend so UGLY, he got rejected from fashion school!
Courtney: WHO told you THAT!?
Mel: Izzy told me Dawn told her!
Courtney: (growls) YO boyfriend so STUPID, he put his dog collar on himself rather than his own dog!… WHICH IS WHY HE RAN AWAY!
Mel: (gasps) Duncy doesn't like it when people talk smack about Petey!
Courtney: I'm aware… I WAS his girlfriend!!! (Mel and Courtney continue their "yo boyfriend" joke session)
(Various shots of the final five digging up fossils and putting them together in wild creations. What they're making is not revealed)
=== Drumheller, Alberta, Fossil Pit === (Dakota rings a bell. The final five report to her. Their dinosaurs were left behind)
Dakota: Allright! Show us what awesome imaginary creatures your tiny lil brains could muster up!
=== Scott's Dino - The Dirt Muncher ===
Scott: I'll go first! (every turns their attention to Scott's dinosaur) Mine is called the Dirtmuncher. (The dinosaur is a large blob of dirt, with arms sticking out of it) It hides and coats itself in dirt to catch its prey.
Courtney: It's prey beeeiinnggg?….
Scott: More dirt.
Courtney: Coats itself in garbage to attract garbage, huh? (eyes Mel) Sounds familiar.
=== Mel's Dino - The Weird-O-Dactyl
Mel: (pushes Courtney) I'll go NEXT! (Everyone moves to over Mel's Dinosaur. It appears to be a pterodactyl) Mine has an interesting story. You see, the Weird O Dactyls would (turns to Courtney) Whine and cry and screech all day until a mate comes to kiss its boo boos. (Courtney growls in anger) They're VERY prone to injuries because (stares harshly at Courtney) they'd tango with other dinos that could easily squash em.
Beth: (Beth notices that the wings are set up properly) … How does it fly?
Mel: Oh. The mile high pole up its butt keeps it in the air.
=== Lightning's Dino - The Sha-Lightning-O-Tops === (The fossils are put together almost perfectly. The creature is on its hind legs, has a short tail, round cheeks, two big eyes, and a small hump on its back that appears to be a shell)
Lightning: MY TURN! I present… the SHA-LIGHTNING-O-TOPS!
Beth: (claps. Lightning bows)
Lightning: Thank YOU! I found this one over near THAT! (he points to an ancient and withered away pipe coming out of the ground)
Beth: Oooooh…. (Scott touches it. Nothing happens) … My turn.
=== Beth's Dino - Betheodon === (The fossil is one head, with a torso. It's really small. It has twigs for limbs)
Beth: Here is the Betheodon! It was around back when cavepeople existed!
Courtney: (glares at Mel) They still do.
Beth: (She hands her dinosaur to Scott. Scott plays around with it)
Scott: Aww… reminds me of my neighbors dog.
Beth: Really!? What kind of dog is it?!
Scott: The dead kind. (hands it back to Beth. Beth slowly backs away) What? It shouldn't have been playing in the crop fields in harvesting season.
Courtney: Well, I guess it's MY turn then. Just thought we should take our attention away from Scott's story.
Mel: I dunno. It was more interesting than anything you've said in the last few weeks. (Courtney backhands Mel. Mel ducks. Good reflexes. Courtney falls on the ground. She gets back up and dusts herself off)
=== Courtney's Dino - The Make Nice Rex === (Her dinosaur is the letter "N" carved into a rock)
Courtney: (it's not much) ….
---> Courtney: Mel kept distracting me with all those yo boyfriend jokes! I didn't have time to think!
Courtney: These little creatures used to crawl their way out of the ocean… and into your heart.
Scott: And EAT em!?
Courtney: No! (to Beth) So… like it?
Beth: Was the… "N" for Nathaniel?
Courtney: YES! (Courtney smiles and pats Beth on the back. She glances at Lightning) See how NICE I am? (… Beth humorously cries) WHA!?
Lightning: (picks up Beth) Now look at what you did! For SHAME, Courtney! (walks away)
Mel: Smooooth. (Courtney whips around to Mel)
Dakota: JUDGING TIME!!!
=== Drumheller, Alberta, Judging Dinos === (A lie detector has been brought out. It's an electric chair lie detector. Courtney is strapped to it)
Courtney: Is this really necessary?
Dakota: YES! You all are the judges. Time to vote for your FAVORITE dino.. and it CAN'T be yours! So TELL the truth!
Courtney: Um… Beth's dinosaur was by far the most clever and well done(ZAP!!!!) OUCH!!! … Okay! Fine. Her dinosaur is POOP!
Courtney: No! I didn't want to tell you. But it literally is poop! Coprolites, Beth. Coprolites!
Beth: Oh…. (duisgusted) EW!
---> Scott: I've built things out of GROSSER material. I don't know what they're all squeamish about.
Courtney: Yeah, ew… so…. (groans) Fine. I admired how quickly Mel could slap her dino together without even an ounce of creativity. (DING) (+1 Mel. Lightning is transferred to the chair)
Lightning: Sorry.. Lightning doesn't like poop. (Beth forgives him) Courtney's was the WORST! (ZAP!!!) AUGH! Fine! Scott's was! …
Scott: That's a matter of opinion! How is that the cold hard truth!?
Lightning: I have to vote for…. (sighs) Mel's. Cause at this point, I too like to poke fun at Sha-Courtney!
Mel: WOO! Let's be friends!
Beth: Let's NOT! (+1 Mel. Mel is transferred to the chair)
Mel: Hmmm…. … My personal favorite was probably Lightning's! (ZAP!!!) AUGH!!… (Lightning glares at her) Hehe… Slip of the tongue. Totally meant to say Scott's. The way he used dirt in his fossil… that was such a lazy tactic! Way to take the short-cut, dude! I approve. (ZAP!!!) AUGH! That sounded convincing! Come ON! (They all look at her) … Fine. I liked Lightning's because the back of his dinosaur kinda looked like a saddle… (Scott scoffs. +1 Lightning. Scott is transferred to the chair) Why did it zap me the FIRST time I said Lightning!
Dakota: I guess the chair just doesn't like you... moving onto Scott.
Scott: Lightning's was my favorite. It just looks cool. (DING)
Lightning: HA! I expected a lie from you, Scotty!
Scott: I will slap you in the mouth! (ZAP!!!) AUGH!!! (+1 Lightning. Beth is transferred to the chair)
Beth: … I admired Courtney's attempt to make me feel better… but friends don't need to kiss up to each other. It was kinda obvious it wasn't sincere. … Sorry Courtney. Still friends?
Courtney: TOTES! (Lightning rolls his eyes)
Beth: My favorite was Lightning's. He was the only one who didn't really make a dinosaur as a kiss-up attempt, a bash, or an analogy of how dirty someone is. (Lightning cheers)
Dakota: Our winner is… LIGHTNING! Your reward is this POST DIGGER! (Lightning is given a post digger. He takes a hold of it)
Dakota: Now… if you'll all follow me, we'll move onto the final challenge of today! (they all follow Dakota)
=== Alberta, Outside Total Drama Jumbo Jet === (Dakota is standing near a few barrels. She has two interns to her left)
Dakota: So the interns were SUPPOSED to bury THESE barrels full of maple syrup, spiders, snakes… and some kinda crab thingy?
Intern: We picked em up in Australia.
Scott: If it's from Australia, I'm scared.
Dakota: The point being… this is an important challenge because of the little MISTAKE they made. (she turns to the interns) That 5% increase… just became a -5% decrease. (the interns look ashamed) They buried the WRONG barrels. Our OIL BINS! The bins used to power the plane. Our RESERVED FUEL! (She leers at the interns) I'm not mad… just disappointed and highly volatile. (they take a step away from her) So the reward from the previous challenge goes as following.
1st - Lightning
2nd - Mel
3rd - Scott
Last - Courtney and Beth
Dakota: Lightning got the post digger… and second place, Mel, gets an old prospecting kit! (Dakota tosses Mel a pickaxe and a gold pan. (Not gold, that's just what it's called))
Mel: A PICKAXE!? Now we're talking.
Dakota: For coming in third, Scott gets a kiddie pail and a kiddie shovel!
Scott: Thanks. (takes it)
Dakota: Such good manners. (pats him on the head) And Courtney and Beth get NOTHING! (Beth groans)
Courtney: Sorry, Beth.
Dakota: Now! First one back with a barrel of oil WINS IMMUNITY!
Beth: But… there must be 20 square miles of badlands! How are we going to find our way around, let alone a barrel of oil… UNDERGROUND?!
Dakota: You also have boulders to worry about.
Everyone: (they give the "are you serious" glare)
Dakota: (gives the "yes I'm serious" glare) … NOW GO! (they run off)
=== Alberta Drumheller, Badlands === (Lightning is wandering far away. He has his post digger. He finds a nice, clean, barren spot. He gets ready to dig before Courtney arrives)
Courtney: LIGHTNING, WAIT! (Lightning groans and rolls his eyes. Courtney catches up to him)
Lightning: What do YOU want!?
Courtney: I just wanted to lend you a helping and voluntary friendly hand in assistance today. In a very FRIENDLY manner.
Lightning: Well I don't NEED your help! (Lightning begins swimming the post digger like a baseball bat. He's hitting the ground with it)
Courtney: …. Lightning, you're doing it wrong! (Courtney grabs one of the handles on the post digger. Lightning grabs the other side)
Lightning: NO! Go sha-way! (They drill the post digger into the ground. It ends up hitting something. A loud clang is heard) Is that?… (Lightning tosses the post digger aside and begins clawing at the ground) OIL!?!?
Courtney: Did WE strike oil?! That's great that WE struck oil! Good for US!
Lightning: WOO!!! (smoke escapes from the ground. It engulfs Courtney and Lightning) This… this isn't oil?.. is…iiittttt (passes out. Courtney passes out too)
=== Alberta Drumheller, Badlands === (Scott is using his shovel to cut open parts of the dirt. He's investigating a large area)
Scott: Hmmm… There must be an oil drum…. THERE! (he points to a specific spot. Moments later, a boulder falls from the sky and smashes onto the very spot) Nevermind.
Mel: Whatcha up to? (Scott jumps back in surprise)
Scott: Nothing! … Just.. excavating. And you?
Mel: I already have my own digging site. (She notions over to where she has numerous holes dug in the ground. It's not far away) Wanna join me?
Scott: Sounds fetching. But frankly, I'd rather be buried alive with a claustrophobic shark than to ally with you, as if I haven't made that clear enough.
Mel: Actually, that's the first you've used that exact analogy. Buuuut… …. (she drops the act) WHY?!!? (she gets down on her knees) WHY WON'T YOU ALLY WITH ME?!!? What is preventing you?! What is keeping you from being drawn to my offer… and ME in general! WHAT?! WHY!?
Scott: BE-CAUSE!… I don't like you! (Scott turns around and promptly walks away)
Mel: I don't like you either, so it's mutual… AND it gives us something in common! PLEASE!!! (Scott keeps walking) UGH... Yourre just another GOOD GUY!
Scott: (he turns around. That made him angry) NO. I'M. NOT! (he storms off)
Mel: You're no fun!…. (kicks a rock and walks away. A boulder barely misses her as it comes flying from above) AUGH!!! Watch it!
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Outside Jumbo Jet === (Dakota and Chef are hurling rocks using a giant catapult)
Dakota: I know I promised not to be as cruel as Chris… but the power's gotten to me. (launches a boulder) WEEEEE!!!!
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Badlands === (Courtney wakes up after the smog clears. She looks around. She's still in Alberta. The rocks and the dirt and the fossils and all. She groggily stands up)
Courtney: Ugh… where am I?…. … Oh wait… Redundant question… What happened?
Lightning: HEY! (Courtney turns and sees Lightning yelling at someone. Courtney runs over to his side)
Courtney: Lightning! What's wrong! (Lightning is yelling at someone holding his post digger. He's angry. The person holding his post digger… is ...)
Lightning: (points at Sierra) GIMME THAT POST DIGGER! That's MINE! (He grabs it from Sierra. She starts pulling it back from him)
Sierra: NO! It's mine! I won it in a challenge! I'm on a TV show! IT'S MINE! LET GO, STRANGER! (They play tug o war over it)
Courtney: (runs up to them both) Sierra! You're not even IN this season! Give that back to Lightning, NOW!
Sierra: (lets go. Lightning falls over with the post digger. Sierra is gaping in horror) COURTNEY!?… What are YOU doing here!? I thought you were eliminated back in China! With Blaineley!
Courtney: What!? Blaineley hasn't been on this show since season 1! And it was DAWN who was eliminated in China!
Sierra: … Who's Dawn?
Courtney: Dawn?… She's short, blonde, telepathic, attracted to pit sniffers… That Dawn. What has gotten INTO you, Sierra!?
Sierra: (sighs) I'm confused… and angry. Mostly angry. (pulls out a picture from her pocket) I guess I finally know how you feel, Courtney. To have your loved one betray you!
Courtney: ….. (puts her hand on Sierra's shoulder) You mean Duncan? What happened, Sierra?
Sierra: (holds up a picture to Courtney's face) LOOK! LOOK AND WEEP!! (Courtney inspects the picture. Lightning does too. It's a picture of Cody and Heather leaning on each other, asleep in first class)
Lightning: … Sha-WHAT?!!?! When did THIS HAPPEN!?!?
Sierra: Just recently! Alejandro gave it to me! I'm … I'm crushed! I can't believe Cody would betray me like this!
Courtney: (looks closer at the picture) … Wait… this is a fake…Cody was eliminated in Egypt. And Heather was BALD then. How does she have hair in this picture?
Sierra: … (laughs) Courtney. YOU are mixed up right now. Heather was bald in season 2! Cody is STILL here!
(Cody approaches Sierra. Courtney and Lightning gasp)
Cody: Courtney!?!?… random stranger!?…
Lightning: (turns to Courtney) … Something's wrong… Something's very very wrong….
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Badlands === (Beth is digging in a hole with her bare hands)
Beth: (sighs) I would be moving at a much quicker rate if Bertha was here…. (She scrapes the outside of the hole. She uncovers the edge of an oil barrel) … Nevermind! (She smiles widely…)
(A rock comes hurdling towards her)
Beth: Wha?… (looks up) AUGH!
(It lands in the hole she's in. Beth is trapped. She pokes her head out)
Beth: … Um… hello?…. (sighs) This would be moving at a much quicker pace if… anyone was here.
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Badlands === (Lightning and Courtney are still walking through the badlands)
Lightning: I think we must be in some kind of… alternate universe!
Courtney: That's ridiculous, Lightning. Jumping dimensions is impossible!
Heather: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! (Courtney and Lightning turn to see Heather, in a hole in the ground. She's currently stuck) I saw you get eliminated, Courtney! WHAT are you doing here!? Back to make eyes at Alejandro, aren't you!?
Courtney: WHAT!? No! Al is gross!
Heather: … Wait… so you're not into him?
Courtney: No. Are you?
Heather: … (scoffs) No. As if. What would I ever see in that …… pampered spaniard?
Lightning: I dunno. I think you two would make an awful couple!…
Heather: Awwww… (blushes. Her fake kindness turns to anger) Thanks stranger whose opinion really doesn't matter because NOBODY ASKED YOU. … Who even ARE you?… and… (squints) Why do you make me want to hit you in the face with something heavy, like a briefcase or a shovel?
Courtney: Probably because that wouldn't be beneath you, Heather! (takes Lightning's wrist) Let's go, Lightning. (they leave)
Heather: WAIT… I'm still jammed into this rock! You can't just leave me!… HEY!… COME BACK! HELP!!!… HELP!!! (As soon as they leave, Alejandro arrives) What are you waiting for… get me OUT of here! (the scene continues)
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Badlands === (Beth is trapped under the rock, just as Heather was. She's calling for help)
Beth: HELP!!… HELP!!!…Somebody! (Scott arrives) SCOTT! You'll help me, right?!
Scott: Hold on! Lemme figure something out! (he looks around the rock)
Beth: PHEW!… I was worried. Am I ever glad you're one of the GOOD GUYS. (Scott stops immediately… he is taken aback) … Scott? (He's angry)
Scott: (Being called a "good guy") I am NOT!
Beth: Okay. Sorry. Sorry... J-just help me-
Mel: -But that's not what "GOOD GUYS" do, Bethie. (Mel approaches from behind Scott. She puts an arm on his shoulder) He's bad to the bone. He is NOT a good guy, and he's gonna prove it. Won't you, Scott!?
Scott: I… uh… ….
Mel: What? Are you really just gonna throw away all your hard work just to become one of those wimps? Just to place ALL your bets on "friendship"? Dude… I thought you were cool!
Scott: But this is-
Beth: -Scott! You're better than this! You've overcome so much! You won't throw away all of the niceness and good memories you've gotten on the way here! Think of all your friends!
Scott: Yeah! And-
Mel: -FRIENDS?! Friends or the money, Scott!? She's in an alliance that will vote you off at the drop of a hat. Are you gonna let that happen!?
Scott: I... uh-
Beth: -Scott! We're your friends! We didn't know if we could trust you! Saving me would destroy all doubt we have in you! Please!
Mel: You have the rest of your LIFE to make friends. When are you gonna have another chance at a MILLION DOLLARS!?
Scott: Can I-
Beth: -Scott, please don't leave me trapped here-
Mel and Beth: (dead silent) ....
(MUSICAL BELL DINGS)
=== O-O-O SONG TIME === "This Is How We Will End It" === SONG TIME O-O-O === (To the beat and rhythm of "This Is How We Will End It" Red curtains swing over the camera, like a stage closing for the next scene. The curtains subside to reveal a stage. Scott is standing alone. In the audience are loads and loads of people. He's standing next to a stool, with a glass of water on it. He clears his throat and sings into the microphone set up in front of him)
Scott: ♪♫I've been....betrayed by my own clique. Left behind for some C.I.T. chick. Your labels of me, well, they stick! So why save you and risk remaining a "hick"? ♪♫ (A fiery explosion comes from his left. A dazzling light on his right. Beth and Mel are now small, and sitting on Scott's shoulders. Mel is wearing a skimpy devil's outfit, with horns and a tail. Beth is wearing a white robe and a golden halo)
Mel: ♪♫This is how we will end iiiiiit! ♪♫
Beth: ♪♫You can't leave me to die! ♪♫
Mel: ♪♫This is how we will end iiiiiit! ♪♫
Beth: ♪♫Why go this far, oh why? Ooooooh.... I know you've got a reputation that stinks. Do some good for us and we'll all forgive your hijinks! ♪♫
Mel: ♪♫You can't undo what's already done! People don't change, plus...evil's fun!♪♫
Beth: ♪♫This can't be how we end iiiiit.... ♪♫
Mel: (to Scott) ♪♫She's earned what she gets! ♪♫
Beth: ♪♫This can't be how we end iiiiit.... ♪♫
Mel: ♪♫Trust me, you'll have no regrets!♪♫
Beth: ♪♫Oooooooh...you can't be for real, you aren't this cruel! Threatening my life won't make you cool! Yes, we left you, but you can easily earn back my trust! It's a hollow victory...if you're seen as unjust! ♪♫
(The scene shifts to back at the three in Drumheller. Beth is crammed under the rock. Mel is next to Scott. She's holding her pickaxe in her hand. She gesturing to Scott for them to leave. Scott brushes her hand off of him. He's thinking. Mel looks down and notices Beth's barrel)
Beth: (Spoken) Scott, you have a good side. I know it. You know it. And DAWN knows it, and it's why she agreed to date you! Would a one-fourth chance at actually winning the money be worth the almost 100% chance no one will see you as likable again if you leave me here? Is that the victory you want?
(Scott has decided. The curtain closes again. They are back on the stage. The demon Mel gleefully hums along to the song. The angel Beth is awaiting his answer)
Scott: ♪♫I've been....betrayed by my own clique. Left behind for some CIT chick. Your labels of me, now they stick! But to leave you for dead...that would be sick!♪♫ (Demon Mel gasps. The boom of the rest of the song sends her spiraling off of his shoulder)
(They are back in Drumheller. Scott grabs Mel's pickaxe and slams it under the boulder. He starts pulling it off of Beth)
Scott: ♪♫This is not how we'll end iiiiit! ♪♫
Mel: ♪♫You're wasting your chance! ♪♫
Scott: ♪♫This is NOT how we'll end iiiiit! ♪♫(Beth crawls out from beneath the rock)
Beth: ♪♫My trust in you is enhanced!♪♫
=== END OF SONG ===
Mel: I can't believe you just… RUINED your chance to be what you always wanted to be! A BAD guy! You were throwing challenges in season one and two! Mercilessly casting aside teammates like… like trash! It was all building up to this, Scott!
Scott: I'll admit it. I got a thing for messing with people's heads and using them for my own purposes...but leaving someone to DIE?! Just because they don't trust you?! Yeah, it's one person off your hands, but it also makes you look like a total jerk! I'd rather be nice and have support that helps me in the end than nearly kill someone and get everyone against me. It's... strategy and MORE. If you wanna choose the second option, fine by me. But keep in mind I got people on my side again, and you've got NOBODY!
Mel: … (grunts) Whatever. (She takes her pickaxe back) You can keep your friendship. I'll stick to some morals of my OWN! (She lifts the pickaxe. Beth and Scott cower in fear that she's about to strike them. She slams the pickaxe into the ground in front of her. She pulls out Beth's oil drum) I'll be seeing YOU losers… at elimination. (she laughs and starts rolling the barrel away)
Beth: OH NO!!…
Scott: (shrugs) Whatever. Lightning and Courtney are probably back at the plane by now with an oil barrel. I saw them go off together. They should be allright.
Beth: You're right. With Courtney's intellect … and brawn, and Lightning's brawn… and intellect. They should have been done HOURS ago!
=== Alberta, Drumheller, Outside Total Drama Jumbo Jet === (Courtney and Lightning are hiding behind a rock. They are watching an elimination ceremony. It's dark out. Chris is gathered with four passports and three marshmallows)
Courtney: Marshmallows? What's going on?
Lightning: And why is Chris back? He's been missing for a while now! (Courtney shushes him)
Chris: I've got a little season one tribute treat here for you. (he's talking to Sierra, Cody, Alejandro, and Heather, each sitting on small logs) Remember, Sierra has invincibility, so there better not be any votes for her! So, Sierra, you get tonight's first marshmallow. (tosses a marshmallow to Sierra)
Sierra: (she admires the fluffily goodness) Awww. I used to eat these at home while watching the shoooow! (she eats it) Oooh… (she's savoring it) It is so much better than I ever imagined!
Chris: Tonight's second marshmallow goes to… Heather! (Chris tosses one to Heather. She catches it and appears slightly guilt stricken) Who ALSO had no votes against her. … Let's read the remaining votes, JUST for a little suspenseful fun!
Courtney: (pulls Lightning) Let's get in the plane! This is starting to creep me out… I've never seen anything like this. (They sneak over to the side entrance of the cargo hold unnoticed)
=== Total Drama Jumbo Jet, Cargo Hold === (The two overachievers enter the cargo hold. The place is gloomy and dim)
Courtney: Ugh… What's happened to this place? It smells worse than usual.
Lightning: I don't even KNOW… … (sniffs the air) … Did you hear something. (A shape crawls from behind them. They turn around fast) Who's there!?!? (a roar echoes through the cargo hold) SHA-SHOW YOURSELF!…
(A monster steps from the dark. It's wearing tattered clothes and has a bald head with a pale green complexion. It has sharp teeth and drool that sizzles on the ground. The monster leaps forward at the two unsuspecting Courtney and Lightning)
Courtney: LIGHTNING! WATCH OUT! (Courtney grabs the closest thing to her, a whiffle bat, and slams the monster across the face as it dives through the air. She knocks it across the room)
Lightning: COURTNEY!… You saved me! … (The monster gets back up. Lightning stands in front of Courtney) STAY BACK!
Courtney: GO AWAY YOU… YOU MONSTER! Whatever you are!
Monster: RRRRAAAAUUGGGHHH!!! (it swipes it's claws for hands at Lightning. They back away… suddenly… the monster sniffs the air. It stands upright and opens its eyes wide open)
Lightning: … What's it doing?! (Suddenly, many animals come rushing towards the door Lightning and Courtney entered from. The monster leaves with them, running as if it were human) … Where are they going?!
Courtney: I don't know… but… Thank you for defending me back there.
Lightning: Thank YOU for saving me… You know… I may have been a bit too harsh on your about Nathaniel's elimination… I guess I jumped the gunpowder…
Courtney: (giggles) The phrase is "jumped the gun"
Lightning: No… (sniffs the air) I smell gunpowder… or… burning oil. (Suddenly everything around them is on fire. The room explodes. Courtney and Lightning cry out before!……)
=== Alberta Drumheller, Badlands === (Courtney and Lightning are lying on the ground. They wake up, groggy and wobbly. Courtney looks around and sees that a boulder has landed near them. It hit the spot where the smoke had come out of the ground. It clogged the smoke)
Courtney: What…. what happened… I think it's appropriate to say "Where am I" now.
Chef: (approaches the two) AH! There you are! I was about to call for help! … You two have been passed out for a while!
Chef: The earth in these particular parts are filled with toxic chemicals such as hallucinogenic gas. You ought to be careful when mining here. …
Courtney: So... we inhaled hallucinogenic gas?
Lightning: You mean the earth farted and made our brains go "WOOP"!?!?
Chef: In literal terms... precisely. Well.. the challenge is over, and punk girl won. (Courtney and Lightning gasp)
=== Outside Total Drama Jumbo Jet, Drumheller === (It's dark out. The plane is parked near the fossil pit. Mel is dancing on top of an oil barrel. Scott and Beth are lazily sitting on the ground. Courtney and Lightning enter)
Beth: LIGHTNING! Courtney! What happened!?
Courtney: Ugh… nature sucks.
Lightning: Heather, Cody, Sierra, Alejandro, and Chris were here! They were throwing a bonfire party and digging, just like us! Then we got attacked by a monster and the plane blew up! It was AWFUL! SHAW-FUL!
Courtney: What he said…
Beth: Oh… well.. Scott saved me from near death!
Courtney: … He did? … Wow. (Scott stands up) Thank you, Scott…
Scott: Look. I don't really care much for this game anymore. If I stay, I stay. If I lose, I lose… so… if I was scheduled to go next on your.. agenda, then-
Courtney: -You know...… after all of that madness Lightning and I went through… I think it's good to start… being a little less strategic and more… what's the word?
Scott and Courtney: Caring? … (Lightning and Beth smile and nod. The four embrace in a hug)
Mel: HA! LAAAAAAME! (they break from their hug and glare at Mel) You losers have to vote someone off! How's THAT STRATEGY working?!
Lightning: You really don't get it… do you?
Beth: This "lameness" is BEYOND this stupid game…
Lightning: There's nothing wrong with having genuine feelings for someone!
Courtney: Whether it be a partner, a friend, or a family member. It's never cowardly to show devotion.
Scott: …. (everyone looks to Scott to tell her off) … I already told her off today. (they all nod)
Beth: Then allow me.. (Beth steps up to Mel) We have each other. We will ALWAYS have each other. Our friendships can take us far! Your wild parties and raves may be "sick", Mel, but EVERY party ends. And let me tell you, when your joy ride is over, you're gonna wake up and realize that NOBODY around you is as close as you thought they were. So YEAH… if we're lame for being FRIENDS… then go ahead and keep being COOL for being the loneliest girl in the world! And no amount of boys and relationships can change that, Mel! …. (Beth steps away. Lightning, Courtney, and Scott applaud. Mel is flabbergasted)
Mel: … b-but… you… …
Beth: (whips around and yells) WHO CARES if one of us is getting eliminated today!? At least we'll still be friends AFTER the show! There's real life, you know! And NO… your shallow and pointless relationships and boy teasing does NOT COUNT AS EXPERIENCE!!!! (Beth huffs and turns away. She receives a second applause)
Courtney: .. Wow…. you silenced her.
Beth: (turns around before Mel can even say another word) And to PROVE my point!… I volunteer for elimination! (everyone gasps)
Dakota: …. This is all REALLY touching… … and it would be even MORE touching if we made our way to the jet for elimination… (everyone slowly makes their way in the jet) ….. IF this was an elimination episode! (they all turn around)
Dakota: SURPRISE!!! NOBODY'S BEING ELIMINATED!!! We're celebrating the FINAL FIVE with a FINAL FIVE Barbecue! And the WINNER of the challenge gets to enjoy a meal ALL BY THEMSELVES inside the plane… ALONE… with NOBODY to enjoy it with! (Mel falls to the ground and angrily screams to the sky)
---> Mel: AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I HATE THIS SHOW!!!!
---> Courtney: I LOVE THIS SHOW!... (calms down) ... on very selective occasions....
=== FINAL FIVE BARBECUE… MINUS MEL === (Lightning, Beth, Courtney, and Scott are gathered at a picnic table. They are all laughing, and talking, and eating delicious cooked and barbecued sausage, burgers, and pancakes)
Beth: Serving pancakes at a barbecue! This is BRILLIANT!
Lightning: Pass the protein!!!… (they all look at him) … Please? (Scott gives Lightning the salt. He pours it on his pancakes and gobbles them down)
Scott: (snickers and whispers to Beth) Hehe… I handed him the salt. (Beth giggles too)
Courtney: (is drinking orange juice) Wow. I really like this orange juice.
Scott: (eating the burger) Dawn will HATE ME for eating this… Oh cows.. Dawn was right.. you do have beautiful eyes.. but Pappy was righter. You're freaking DELICIOUS! (They all laugh and enjoy their final five, minus melee, barbecue. Mel watches them all jealously from the plane's window)
Dakota: (Chef and Dakota are enjoying the barbecue with the interns. The interns are the ones cooking) WOO! Interns! This is delicious!… I'm raising your pay to 20%!!!
Interns: (they all gasp) …. Chris has never paid us before in our lives!!!… WE LOVE YOU! (they all begin dancing)
Dakota: (dances too. She turns to the camera) AND that's all for today, folks! Stay tuned for the final stretch of the game! Somebody is DEFINITELY going home next time!… Will it FINALLY be MEL!? Cross your fingers and take a breath, cause Total Drama is looking forward to having you! See you next time on… TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR!!!!
© The TDDO Series is a fan work that is inspired by and centered around the characters/settings/premise/etc. from the reality show spoof series, “Total Drama“ that belongs to Teletoon Studios, Fresh TV, Cake Entertainment, and its creators, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis
CODY COULD HAVE WON AND YOU DIDN'T TAKE THE CHANGE AUAHUAGUAGUAHUAHUAH
also you ugh instead of uh a lot, or at least it seems like that
nice episode too, really the best since you officialized dott
Mel became desperate for Scott. xD She wanted to ally with him SO BAD.
HAHA YES! I can't believe it but you actually did it! You pulled off a moment between fanon and canon! xD THAT WAS GREAT! I loved how Sierra and Cody didn't know who Lightning was or why Courtney was there. THAT WAS GREAT! +9001 brownie points for you, my friend! Too good! TOO GOOD!
YES! The alternate universe moments TOTALLY made this episode! BY FAR! Seriously, I loved it!
Courtney: (is drinking orange juice) Wow. I really like this orange juice. I don't even feel like complaining right now because it's so good! (CoGreen20: Did you see what I did there?)
No, not really. Is it a reference to something...or what? I don't get it. (reads description) Oh...okay.
Gahhh...who to root for? Lightning? Beth? Scott? Those are my three options to choose from. Mel is totally not gonna win and Courtney...I find her annoying. Not as much as the canon one, of course.
my favorite was writing This Is How We Will End It. xD
It was referencing the time in TDAS where Courtney was REALLY annoying about her orange juice.
Courtney's at least better in fanon, at least. Thanks!
THIS IS HOW WE'LL END IT! THIS GAME THAT WE PLAY! xD I can imagine the Scott puppet. (shudders) Creepy.
I can't believe I don't remember that. That season wasn't even that long ago.
You're welcome! You made Courtney MUCH MORE tolerable. ^^
Canon TD is a nightmare only to be faced through hallucination. ;-;
And I gotta say, I love this Mel angst thing! I think a lot of people in the world could stand to read that message. It's a friendship lesson for the ages!
Scott developing, Mel developing, everything is peachy keen.
1. "---> Beth: That or he thinks I'm hot. …. Nope."
2. "Scott: (humorously yells. His voice squeaks) I am NOOooT! I am a cold-blooded strategist!
Beth: Rrrriiiiiiight. And I'm a flying porpoise made of waffles. (a waiter brings Beth a waffle shaped like a porpoise) … Wow. First class rocks.
Scott: But it's not a FLYING porpoise. (blinks) We're in a plane…. (long pause) …
Beth: First class is the shiz. (starts eating)" XDDD
3. "Courtney: Lightning! There was nothing I could do! It was all on his own watch!
Lightning: He didn't even wear a watch! Some leader YOU turned out to be! (walks past her)" ...Really?
4. "Beth: (Beth notices that the wings are set up properly) … How does it fly?
Mel: Oh. The mile high pole up its butt keeps it in the air. (Lightning interrupts)" ...
5. "Courtney: Um… Beth's dinosaur was by far the most clever and well done(ZAP!!!!) OUCH!!! … Okay! Fine. Her dinosaur is POOP!
Courtney: No! I didn't want to tell you. But it literally is poop! Coprolites, Beth. Coprolites!
Beth: Oh…. (duisgusted) EW!" EWWW!
5. "Lightning: You mean the earth farted and made our brains go "WOOP"!?!?"
6. "Scott: (eating the burger) Dawn will HATE ME for eating this… Oh cows.. Dawn was right.. you do have beautiful eyes.. but Pappy was righter. You're freaking DELICIOUS! (They all laugh and enjoy their final five, minus melee, barbecue. Mel watches them all jealously from the plane's window)" again
This episode, words just can't describe how much I loved it. I'll try though.
Scott actually developed and learned that killing people is wrong! This is one of the greatest things you've ever done! So much respect!
Courtney and Lightning went to canon TDWT. And you made fun of it!! That was amazing dude!
Speaking of Courtney, she learned to put friendship over winning. She developed, unlike canon. ...You just cast shade on TDAS. Outstanding!
Beth was a lot of fun. And FULL props to her sticking it to Me;! She honestly had it coming!
Mel was just so rude here that it was great anyway! Though she learned (or was rather told (off)) that she'll be all alone once the season ends. While that's not entirely true, it was a wake-up call for her.
I never thought I'd say this, but Lightning is my pick to win this season. For someone to make me say that, they must be doing something right!
Was that an innuendo dude? If so, then well done!
I figured as much. And who knows. t's plausible in somewhere in Alberta, or at least the Canadian Shield. No one really lives there, at compared to what's south of it anyway.
I know right! Yet here she is, learning and developing. It's official, this is the canon version of Total Drama to me. Canon TDWT, hit the bricks you tramp! And don't come back now ya' here!
All true. Mel deserved it though for what she did. It really was uncalled for.
For all you know it could all be physical. I know how they end up, but you don't. No spoilers, go talk to like I did. Speaking of her, great job on the song girl! Loved it in canon, love it even more here!
His father bested Red?! Lightning's dad is truly badass indeed. And Lightning just oozes with greatness here! If you told me I'd like Lightning in a fanfic, I might have slapped you in the face. Metaphorically speaking, of course. But you've done it, you've made me like Lightning in a fanfic. Kudos to you.
I guess I just didn't... Whoops!
It sounds like what happens when a Koopa and a Yoshi have a child. The fact you used the word shell doesn't entirely help. Plus there's the fact that Koopas and Yoshis (and Birdos) are pretty similar body-shape-wise.
The saddle thing should have rung clear. Guess Lightning still remembers what smacked him in the face in the previous episode.
Who knows? It could very well true and it's just that no one knows about it! If so, then you knew something before science did!
It really does. The first half was good. Not great, but compared to a lot from TD, it was good. And Cody so should've won. And I like how you give the fans a chance to REALLY matte. Not like TDROTI in America (stupid CN) or TDAS (Mike and Zoey aren't as popular as you think Fresh).
...Are you JOSHing me right now?! I should have NOAH'n that you'd NOAH.
Not to mention PJ, BJ, and TJ! OJ sounds perfectly legit to me as a name!
You will be the greatest TD Trainer of all time! And you an add Scott, Courtney, and Beth to your repertoire!